A TRIP OUTSIDE

Jacob and Carrie McKean recently led a team of nine to work in the government orphanage in Jinjiang, China .  Jinjiang is in the Fujian province, and the city is the source of 80 percent of the world's athletic shoes!  Carrie works for A Helping Hand Adoption Agency, the international adoption agency that sponsored the trip.  A Helping Hand is a Christian international adoption agency with programs in China and Guatemala. 

As he walked down the stairs, he began to cry. The closer he got to the door, the more frightened his tears grew. By the time they had him in the street, with the cars and scooters whizzing around and honking incessantly, he was desperately trying to loosen their grip and run back up the stairs into his home. Finally, his nanny calmed him down enough to ask him what was wrong, and his trembling reply was simple: “I've never been out here before.”

I was further down the street with my small charge, a wide-eyed toddler who kept squealing with delight and turning her head quickly from left to right, trying to take it all in, when the young boy experienced his frightening first descent down the stairs. We were walking to the park, and it was her first time to be outside as well. When the rest of the group finally arrived with the frightened young boy, I learned the whole story. He was 6 years old, and because of a fairly minor health problem, he had never been allowed to go outside of the orphanage. Six years old, and his feet had never touched solid ground. He had never seen a tree, grass, or a flower up close. He had grown up hearing the sounds of horns wafting through the windows, but he'd never seen the machines from which they came. He was understandably frightened and overwhelmed, but as he started to realize that he was safe, the joy of discovery exploded onto his face.

Sometimes people ask me how I can bear to go to an orphanage and see children living in such sorrow. Usually I get asked, “Don't you just want to bring them all home?” Of course I do! Through these conversations, I've learned that many people are so frightened by the pain they know will come from leaving the orphanage that they can't bring themselves to go at all. I understand that fear – I feel it myself each time I walk into the orphanage. Part of me is tempted to hold back, to guard my heart… but the children's imploring smiles and reaching arms quickly melt the toughest resolution.

To be with a child the first time he runs on solid ground is something words simply can't describe. There were other incredible moments on our trip. We took two different groups of children, probably about 20-25 in all, to the ocean for the first time in their lives. The ocean is only about a 20 minute drive from the front steps of their building, but kids growing up in an orphanage are lucky if they ever get to see the park a block down the street. One boy who was probably about 18 couldn't walk because of a birth defect. The guys on our team took turns carrying him outside of the orphanage, into the waiting van, and onto the beach, where they set him on a boulder and left him to his own thoughts for 20 minutes or so. Considering he had never left the raucous rooms of the orphanage, the rhythmic pounding of the waves and the peacefulness of an endless horizon were, in his own words, like heaven.

While we were in China, a newspaper and two television crews followed us around constantly. They were truly amazed that we would use our vacation time and our money to come to their little corner of China and spend our time with children who are often forgotten and overlooked. Over and over they asked, “Why do you do this? Why do you spend your money on McDonald's treats and new outfits for these children who are not yours?” Their questions fundamentally aren't much different from the question I described above that I am often asked here in the States. Both types of questions come from our natural aversion to pain and sacrifice. For the Chinese, it might be the pain of spending hard-earned money or the sacrifice of their precious free-time; for us it is the pain and sacrifice of coming to—and, worst of all, leaving—a place as dark and depressing as an orphanage. One team member said she knew going into our trip that she was going to have her heart broken… most rational people naturally try to avoid situations that are known to cause pain. The questions make perfect sense.

The answer to both questions is the same—we go because we are called. We are called by the example of Christ who showed us what it means to love “the least of these.” We are called by our Heavenly Father who makes it abundantly clear throughout scripture that His heart is for the orphans. We are fundamentally called by the fact that He first loved us! Christ poured out his life for us. He pursued us relentlessly, loved us recklessly, and gave Himself for us until He was broken. He held nothing back, and it cost Him everything. Allowing myself to abandon my inhibitions and open my heart to these children shows me, to a greater degree than anything I've ever experienced in life, the love Christ has for me. Just like I was spiritually before Christ changed me, these children are abandoned, broken, and seen as worthless by too many people – yet God created them with joy and for a distinct purpose. He has not forgotten them, and He loves them just as passionately as He loves me. It is hard to describe, but I can sense His presence in their lives and in the walls of their orphanage. To spend a few days humbly trying to be His hands and feet in their lives brings me joy that is truly unmatched by any other experience I've had in life. However, what I learn from the children far outweighs any benefit I might bring into their lives. I get a glimpse of Christ's love for me, because I feel how deeply I love them – and I know both types of love come from above.

So, this is why we go – to take a 6-year-old child outdoors for the first time in his life; to see a toddler's footprints in the sand and watch her squeal with delight as the waves tickle her toes; to watch a 16-year-old girl choosing between two pairs of shoes – possibly the first purchase that will be truly hers in her entire life. Fundamentally, we go because He asked us to. Yes it hurts; I can rarely talk or think about my time at the orphanage without tears, and it is hard to be satisfied with my sometimes frivolous life in America when God opened my eyes to real need. But the joy that it brings to me and the lessons I learn about my heavenly Father's love for me and all of His children are worth the pain. So the message of this article is simple – Go; whether it is to Mexico , China , Russia , Cambodia , or some other place that God is calling you. Give your fears and reasons “why not” to God, and let Him heal your heart when it is all over and you wonder if your life will ever be the same. It won't be, but that's a good thing.

::Carrie McKean

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